Since today morning this thought has kept me wondering - How will my life be 'Day after tomorrow’? Day after tomorrow, when I will be unemployed, unemployed again for the next two years. Well I won't have to worry about reaching office on time or worry about whiling away the whole day and still trying to find something to keep me busy. No more waiting for the weekend to arrive or feeling lousy on a Monday morning. No more of waiting eagerly for the month end for my salary to arrive and replenish my dwindling bank account. No more worrying about the performance appraisal, or the salary rise, or my career graph. I will leave all this behind. Won’t miss them a lot, except the salary, obviously.
But I will miss a lot of other things, happy things, wonderful things. And these wonderful things make me feel sad. Sad at not being with my friend, not having the company I most cherish. I will have to leave it for something which I don’t know if I really want. I will be sacrificing a lot for the future - the future I cannot predict, I cannot trust. It looks rosy. But will it be. Am I really ready for such a big change?
Change is something I have never liked. I like things to be stable, stable like a lake - calm and serene. Unchanging. Water slowly evaporates, only to be replenished by the rain; birds come and go, nibbling at the insects and the flowers; flowers that grow, blossom and wither away only to be resurrected by the coming spring. But the lake remains there, sitting, watching; watching from the periphery, watching time paint a new picture and the ripples on the surface erasing the picture, providing time with a new canvass, everyday. The lake! Ever so unchangeable. Unchanging for the water, rain, insects, flowers and time; giving them the stability they need for their change. Wish I could be like a lake.
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